outcast
Monday, October 20, 2008 @ 7:09 PM
with a bun on, you're an outcast.
well, that's what i'm feeling, anyway.
was walking to ballet class with a [ don't laugh ] -- bun
when i met JIANWEI, CHINYANG, PLUS KANGLE,
his right-hand man.
jianwei reacted ok though.
he was pretty friendly about it,
but i was pale and embarassed.
shell-shocked, too,
by jianwei's natural reaction.
i didn't expect it.
i just nodded at everything he said, speechless,
until -----
i heard the two boys behind me [ chinyang and right-hand man, duh ]
snigger and laugh softly.
my head drooped.
i walked off quickly without a word, numb,
before the first wave of tears washed down my cheeks.
an outcast. an alien. a nobody.
i felt exactly like that.
it hurts .
it didn't help that after ballet class,
vindh [ i not sure abt the spelling ]
was there waiting for my friend, his sister.
i just dropped my head and kept walking.
and walking.
till i reached home.
now, i wish i told HIM
about how i feel about him.
but i don't think it's the correct decision.
i mess up. easily.
i don't want to hurt anybody again.
never.
especially not him.
don't cry pand0ra;
night(:
PS
i know the first song in my playlist is a bit christian,
but i like the music.
