smile.
Friday, October 23, 2009 @ 8:20 PM
just read the last thing on my 'events' section, and now i feel incredibly horrible inside.
audition for dsp entertainment - something that will never happen.
i will probably have to beg my dad a little, then maybe he will support me,
but my mum will never agree to it. never.
'a doctor' - that's probably all she'll want me to be.
not a dancing, singing and probably dieting entertainer living in another country,
working her butt off to make a living, sleeping at irregular hours.
she wouldn't want to have that.
then i'll cry. and cry. and one day, i will give up, and allow myself to continue being a puppet.
this is how i see it will turn out if i tell my parents about my dream.
my mum has controlled everything - my hair, my clothes, my choice of secondary school, my ideal psle aggregate, my goals.
i realized this when a relative of mine asked me, 'what secondary school do you want to go to?'
i could not answer. all i got was 'nanyang' and 'raffles'. they weren't my ideal schools.
(not that ny isn't great now, but back then it wasn't what i had wanted.)
that night, i could not sleep.
sheesh. why do i let myself go like that.
i should smile. the exams are over.
i should smile. i have my books, which i cannot live without.
i should smile, for i have a roof over my head, sufficient food, and an education.
smile.
pandora.
hyunjoongjungminhongki&taemin.
